I'm scared.
I have no idea where my life is going, and I have no idea what to expect or even try to predict for my future.
I know it's normal for college students to feel that way, but. I don't know. I feel so lost all the time lately.
I'm afraid I'm going to fail my classes, and it's no one's fault but my own.
It's so hard taking online classes. I feel zero motivation most of time, and I hate myself for it. I don't want to fail. I don't want to be stuck behind. I want to move forward.
The classes are harder than I expected them to be as well.
I know I'm not stupid, but sometimes I wonder if I'm really smart enough for this.
I'm scared to tell my Mom that I might fail one my classes. As soon as I get the words out, she'll just shut down and refuse to hear anything else out of my mouth. It'll just be. You're too lazy, Amanda. There's no excuse, Amanda. You're wasting money, Amanda.
I don't know if my major is right for me anymore, either. But. I have nothing else I want to do.
I don't know what to do.
I hate feeling like this.
I have so much frustration and worries. I can't get them all out and I don't know what to do.
I want to stop feeling so lost.
Hey. I just tried calling you. I wanted to talk on the phone about it, rather than here, but call me when you get this. I can't imagine how classes are for you right now, but from what I gather about online courses, you're struggles are normal. Don't beat yourself up for having a hard time. You're really smart Amanda. It's probably not any consolation, but we only have a month of classes left. Try your hardest to power through it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this summer, if your car situation hasn't changed, you should take the summer off, work like hell and we can both start new somewhere else. If you feel like online isn't working, maybe that's an alternative to think of. I don't want you to feel anymore behind than you do already, but I'm just trying to avoid falling behind if online isn't working.
As for your major, my suggestion would be to try random classes in other areas of study. That's costly, obviously because of tuition, but its the best way to get exposed to other types of majors.